Fara i Viking - Chapter 9

Chapter IX - Lover

Tino had never kissed someone who was quite so much taller than him. It was a little awkward, standing on his toes with Berwald hunched over to meet his lips. But it was not unpleasant. Berwald's lips were soft, if a little chapped, and warm against his own. The Swede's large hands eventually came to rest on Tino's waist, helping to keep him steady as he stood on tip-toe. Tino's own hands held onto the taller man's neck, keeping him pulled down and their lips pressed together. The contact stayed chaste, but Tino was unwilling to let it go. Eventually he had to, though, and lowered himself down off the balls of his feet so he was standing properly on the ground once again and staring up at Berwald.

Berwald stared right back at him, his expression as unreadable as ever and Tino wondered what he was thinking. Obviously he had not been offended or disgusted by the kiss. He had not pushed Tino away; he was still not pushing Tino away. Actually, Tino realized belatedly, he was holding them closer together than they had been before. Tino decided that that was the sign he needed. "Your room or mine?" he asked with a small smile on his lips.

That smile widened as he watched Berwald's cheeks turn pink. He half expected the man to push him away then, but Berwald did not. Though he was blushing rather fiercely he indicated his quarters. Tino was still smiling as he moved his arms from around Berwald's neck and took the larger man's hands in his own, turning around and leading him through the automatic door and into the tiny room. He had never been into Berwald's quarters before. They contained the same furniture as all the other crew quarters, a simple bed that was hardly more than a cot, a small table and a single short stool. The top of the table was scattered with various tools and machine parts, none of which Tino would have been able to name. A large lock-box sat under the bed, unlocked, and probably what Berwald used for a wardrobe, though in all the time Tino had known him he had only seen Berwald wear three or four outfits.

Tino locked the door after they had entered and then drew Berwald over to the bed. He was not sure how well they would fit on the small bed frame, or how comfortable the mattress would be, but he felt certain they could make it work. He sat down on the bed and pulled Berwald down with him, then kissed the man again. This time he did not allow it to remain chaste.  Parting his lips, Tino slipped his tongue out to run lightly along Berwald's, silently urging him to open up and let him in. Berwald complied, parting his lips and opening his jaw a tiny bit, but that was all Tino needed. His arms wound around the larger man's shoulder, holding him close and running his fingers through the short blond hair as he tasted the other man.

Berwald's motions were much more awkward as he returned the kiss. It felt a little strange, but oh so good, and Tino tasted like alcohol and honey. His hands twitched nervously, but desire overcame his nervousness and the large man let his hands rest on Tino's hips, then slowly wrap around his waist as the smaller man pressed closer. Berwald let his smaller companion take the lead in the kiss, feeling out of his element and afraid of doing something wrong.

Of course, it did not take long for Tino to notice that his was not quite as enthusiastic as he was and he pulled back to look at the other man curiously, and with a hint of worry. Had he read the signs wrong? "What's wrong?"

Berwald looked flustered and shook his head. Nothing was wrong. "J'st… Don't wanna do anythin' wrong," he replied, feeling embarrassed. The smaller man looked up at him curiously, violet eyes searching his face for any signs that he was lying, but he saw nothing there that hinted at that. Looking deep into the man's eyes he saw only nervousness.

"Berwald…" Tino breathed, disbelieving as the pieces clicked together in his head, "Are you a virgin?" The larger man's cheeks turned bright red, and that was all the answer that Tino needed.  He did not know why it made him laugh, but it did.  Maybe he was laughing at himself for always being so frightened of this man, who turned out only to be shy and awkward.  "You're so cute, Berwald," Tino smiled and pulled the man down into a tight hug, running his fingers through his short blond hair.  "We don't have to do anything if you don't want."

Berwald shook his head against Tino's shoulder. "Want to," he mumbled, his voice even harder to understand when muffled in Tino's shirt.  "Love ya."

Tino froze, breath caught in his throat.  Love?  When had this become love?  Tino did not … Well he was not sure how he felt.  And love was not a word he felt comfortable throwing around casually.  "D-don't joke like that, Berwald," he said, trying to laugh it off.

"M' not jokin'," Berwald replied, lifting his head to look Tino in the eyes.

"Eh? B-but," Tino felt his face heat up, "We've barely known each other for more than a year."

"S' long enough," the Swede insisted. His voice was surprisingly gentle. "Y' don't have to say anything," he added, seeing the uncertain look in Tino's eyes.  He could settle with mild affection, for friendship with benefits.  At least that was what he told himself.  

"Berwald…" Tino breathed, looking up at the other man. Berwald looked so sincere, and he was so gentle. And he always had been, all along; only Tino had been too shallow to see it. "I don't want to lead you on," he murmured, and traced his fingers over the lines of the other man's face. Berwald's sharp features had frightened him at first, but now he could see past them. "I don't know how I feel about you. I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"I won't," Berwald promised softly. It was enough to know that Tino would try not to break his heart. For Berwald it was already too late.  He was head over heels and every moment in Tino's presence only made him fall further and further. "Just wanna be with ya."  Every second by Tino's side was worth whatever pain might come later.  

"Alright then," Tino smiled up at him softly and pulled the other man down for a kiss that was soft and gentle; so much better than the passion filled kisses they had shared only moments before. Berwald gladly returned the kiss, leaning into Tino's gentle embrace. Now that he knew what to expect, Tino was not afraid to take charge of the situation. He let his hands wander over Berwald's shoulders, down his back, then back up, over his collar, fingers brushing the exposed skin at his neck before sliding further down.  Even through the fabric of the man's shirt he could feel his well toned muscles and traced the dips and rises as his hands moved lower. Tino took his time getting down to the waistband of Berwald's pants, where he undid the man's belt and pulled his shirt free. He moved slowly, but was not really in the mood for slow lovemaking. It had been over a year since he had last gotten any, after all.  But he feared now if he moved too quickly it would scare Berwald off and then he would be in an even worse situation.

For his part, Berwald was happy that Tino was the one to move them forward. His own hands trembled slightly in nervousness and anticipation as he dared to allow himself to touch the body beneath him. Tino was so much smaller than him it was easy to forget how much strength that little body held, but as the engineer's hands slid down the sniper's chest to his stomach he could feel the muscle hidden under that soft flesh. Tino broke off the kiss and pressed his lips softly to Berwald's cheek, rough with a day's worth of stubble, and his neck, murmuring soft encouragements and letting the man know when he had done something the smaller man liked.

Tino worked his hands into Berwald's shirt and ran his fingers over the bare flesh beneath, feeling how it trembled under his feather-light touches. It really was cute, he couldn't help thinking again, how shy Berwald was. But the thought did not last very long before he got to work again, now unbuttoning the larger man's shirt until his chest was exposed. Tino purred, happy with what he saw, and pushed the shirt over Berwald's shoulders as far as he could. Eventually the other man got the hint and sat up enough to shrug the garment off, and when he did Tino saw that his cheeks were still stained lightly pink.

The little gunman sat up and wrapped his arms around Berwald's waist, kissing his neck and collar softly and running his hands up and down the larger man's back. Berwald's muscles were tight and trembling under his touch. "Relax," he purred softly, nuzzling softly at the crook of the man's neck. "I'll tell you if you do anything wrong," he said lightly, trying to brighten the mood. Berwald was taking this much too seriously, in Tino's opinion. But this probably was that important to him.

Berwald sighed and tried to relax. It helped to have Tino wrapped around him and obviously eager even if he was putting up with the engineer's awkwardness. Tino had probably been expecting a much quicker roll in the hay. Berwald bowed his head and pressed a kiss to Tino's shoulder, open mouthed and letting his tongue flick out to taste the skin. It tasted surprisingly good, so he did it again, this time closer to Tino's neck, and again, lips hovering over the soft beating of the small man's pulse. Tino sighed pleasantly, his head falling back in invitation for Berwald to continue, but the engineer did not. Instead he kissed Tino's lips again and pulled up on the bottom of his shirt. When the kiss parted so he could pull the shirt off over his head Tino was smiling. He tossed the garment onto the floor and leaned up to kiss Berwald softly, "Now you're getting it," he murmured encouragingly.

Tino fell back onto the bed and pulled Berwald with him, sealing their lips together and slipping his tongue into the other man's mouth. Berwald kissed back hesitantly, but Tino pulled him closer, still trying to encourage him to let go of his unnecessary fears and enjoy the moment. The engineer was enjoying himself, but he was uncertain what to do. His admission of love seemed to have been too much for the smaller man, and he did not want to make a mistake like that again. If he did Tino might leave. All he thought he could do was follow Tino's lead and hope he didn't do anything wrong, but that was exactly the opposite of what Tino wanted.

"Berwald," Tino breathed when their lips parted, and he looked up into the man's eyes. God, those were gorgeous eyes, even through the lenses of his glasses and with the way he squinted to see. Such a gorgeous color, pure and clear like the calm ocean on a sunny day. "Don't be so nervous," Tino murmured.

"Don' wanna do anythin' wrong," Berwald admitted shamefaced.

And Tino laughed. "Silly," he purred and stroked the man's cheek. "Didn't I say I would tell you if you did? Just do whatever feels right," he encouraged.

Berwald nodded and tried to push aside his fears. He kissed Tino's cheek and the small man hummed happily. They kissed again, and in order to get things moving a little more quickly, Tino's hands snaked down Berwald's chest and stomach, sliding over his skin until they reached the waistband of his pants once more.  The Swede's belt was already undone, but now he popped open the button and ever so slowly drew down the zipper, hoping perhaps that Berwald might not notice. And he might not have, except that the next thing Tino did was shove his hand inside Berwald's pants to discover what was inside.

The noise that escaped Berwald's throat when Tino's hand cupped and rubbed him through his underwear was something like a strangled moan. He had been caught completely off guard, and his surprise and embarrassment were warring with the part of his mind that wanted to think only about how good that felt. Tino chuckled softly in amusement. The gunman liked what he felt so far and rubbed gently at the flesh between Berwald's legs until the larger man was panting against his shoulder, then he withdrew his hand.

Berwald was surprised to find himself disappointed when Tino's hand was removed. But his face was bright red and his breathing was heavy so Tino knew just how much he had enjoyed that. The smaller man took hold of his partner's pants and began pushing them down, sliding the fabric down over his hips and onto his thighs, as far as he could reach while still comfortably pinned under the larger man. Berwald blushed and his heart raced and he might have argued and protested but Tino moved too quickly and before he could even form words his pants were as good as off. But he did manage to reach down and stop Tino's hand before it could reach for his underwear.

"What's wrong?" Tino asked, seeing the strange look on his partner's face.

Berwald did not answer right away, and when he did his mumbling was worse than usual as he was forced to admit, "M' embarr'sed."

And again Tino was overcome with affection for Berwald's introversion. "Then I'll do it, too," he offered with a small smile. "That way we'll be even." But instead of removing his own pants he pulled Berwald's hands to his hips and set them on the fabric. "On second thought, you do it," he said.

For a moment Berwald just stared at his hands as though uncertain what to do, and then, with his heart beating maddeningly in his chest, he started to move. Slowly he worked open the buckle on Tino's belt, then the button and lastly the zipper. Tino lifted his hips slightly off the mattress once his pants were unfastened so that Berwald could pull them off more easily, but it took the larger man another few moments before he worked up the courage the slide the fabric down. Tino made him pull the pants all the way down his legs and off, and then toed off his socks so that all that was left was his underwear. Berwald followed suit, feeling only slightly less embarrassed with Tino in a similar state of undress.

It did help, though, because Berwald was now distracted from his own near nakedness by the body laid out below him. And though he felt certain he should have been too ashamed to do so, the engineer could not stop himself from staring. Tino was perfect. He had always thought that Tino was perfect. His body was small, but perfectly proportional, with maybe a little extra weight here and there, but Berwald only found that all the more endearing.  His skin was pale but flawless; there was not a birthmark or a scar on him. It seemed impossible. "How're ya so perfect?"

Tino blushed bright red, embarrassed for the first time since they had stumbled into bed. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head away from Berwald and covering his face with his hands. "I'm not," he said. "It's not real."

"Not real?" Berwald asked in confusion.

"It's fake," Tino confirmed without looking back at Berwald. "My mother… She was a Gene."

A Gene. A genetically modified child.  A baby designed exactly to the parents' specifications to create the most handsome, smartest, most talented offspring.  The practice had been popular centuries ago when it had first been developed, but had fallen out of fashion almost as quickly as it had come in; too expensive for most families and failing to meet parental expectations as often as it succeeded. Berwald had not thought anyone still did it. It explained a lot about Tino, though, his unusually colored and inhumanly sharp eyes for one.  But could everything about his physical appearance and abilities be blamed on his grandparents' decision?

"Doesn't matter," Berwald murmured. He took Tino's chin in his hands and turned his face toward him again. "Don't care. Love ya the way ya are."

Tino's face turned pink and his eyes were uncertain as he looked up at Berwald. What had once been a sign of family wealth and high social status was now something looked down on, a part of some families' pasts that they preferred not to talk about. But Tino wasn't just descended of someone who had dabbled in it, he was half-Gene. "Don't tell anyone," he pleaded softly.

"Alright," Berwald agreed with a small nod, "If ya don' want me to." This was Tino's secret to keep and share as he wished, and Berwald would not betray the trust he knew he had just gained. He would take this with him to the grave if he had to.

"Thank you," Tino sighed in relief. A little hesitantly he raised his arms and wrapped them around Berwald's neck, pulling the man down gently for another kiss. It really meant a lot to him that the other man accepted this part of him and he trusted Berwald to keep his secret. They kissed slowly, but in the pit of his stomach Tino was reminded of how long they had been at this already. No more talking, there would be plenty of time for talking in the future, now it was time to get down to business.

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It was not the best sex that Tino had ever had. But it was not the worst, either. Berwald could use some practice but damn was that man good with his hands. Sated and exhausted the small man curled up against his partner's broad chest, curling around him in an attempt to get comfortable in the bed that was nowhere near big enough for the both of them. Eventually they managed to get situated comfortably, though Tino ended up lying almost entirely on top of Berwald. Not that he minded; his body was warm and surprisingly comfortable. Resting his head on the larger man's chest, Tino smiled at the feel of arms wrapped protectively around him and let the slow gentle thudding of Berwald's heartbeat lull him to sleep.

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When Tino woke the next morning he was sore. His lower back ached, reminding him of the previous night's activities and how out of shape he was. He also had a slight crick in his neck and his pinky finger had gone numb from sleeping with his arm at a strange angle. These beds were really not meant to fit two people, especially if one of them was Berwald's size. But despite all of that, he was content. He felt extremely relaxed, warm, and comfortable. Breathing in, he could smell Berwald's scent – engine grease and oil and coffee – and the lingering smell of what they had done the night before.

He stretched slightly, as much as he could without getting up, trying to work out some of the kinks and aches in his body. It did not help very much. And then he opened his eyes, slowly blinking in the dim light and reaching up to rub the crust of sleep from his lids as he yawned. A quick glance was all it took to tell him that Berwald was still asleep. They had not moved much in the night, Berwald still lay on his back and Tino was draped across his chest. It was a very comfortable chest; just the right amount of muscle in just the right places to make a very nice pillow. Tino nuzzled against the warm chest and tried to snuggle closer to the body beneath him, but it was not possible.

Moments later a low sigh and a shift in his pillow told him that Berwald was waking up. Tino moved slightly, giving the tall man room as he stretched slightly and slowly woke. His eyes opened slowly and he squinted, glaring at the ceiling as though trying to see whether he still needed glasses today. Apparently so, given how his hand then swung over to the table and groped for the thin wire frames before slipping them onto his face. Only then did he look down to see Tino settled against his side and staring up at him.

"G'mornin'," Berwald said gruffly, his voice low and gravely from sleep.

"Good morning," Tino replied softly and his own voice was not much better. "Sleep well?" he asked softly, and received a soft grunt in reply that usually translated to a 'yes'. Tino smiled faintly and lifted himself up enough to press a soft kiss to the other man's lips before sitting up and stretching. "I need coffee," he mumbled.

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Tino emerged from Berwald's quarters barefoot and wearing only his pants and undershirt. He padded down the grated floor to the galley to see if he could obtain some coffee, or what passed for coffee on this ship, for himself and Berwald. Still half asleep, Tino was not expecting to encounter anyone else while he shuffled into the galley, but upon entering the room he was greeted by three pairs of eyes that froze him on the spot.

"Good morning," Mathias said with a shit eating grin that suggested he knew far too much about this situation, or at least assumed far too much from Tino's rumpled appearance.

Tino could not think of a single thing to say. He suddenly realized what he looked like, wearing his pants and a loose tank top, his hair out of place and he had not even checked to see if there were any telling marks on his neck.

"Something you want to tell us about?" Aleksander asked from behind his coffee cup.

There was one thing Tino was grateful for, coffee had already been made. "J- Just getting some coffee," the Finn mumbled, feeling his face heat up uncomfortably.  As quickly as possible he made his way across the room to the coffee maker and fished two mugs out of the nearby cabinet. The mugs did not match, but then nothing on this ship did. One was plain white, the other a tacky purple with yellow stars. As quickly as he could without scalding himself he poured two cups of coffee and did not bother to put sugar or milk into either of them, not that they had much to spare for coffee anyway.

"Say good morning to Berwald for me," Mathias called as Tino rushed out of the galley, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. He disappeared back into Berwald's quarters with Mathias' chuckling still ringing in his ears and groaned as he sat down on the bed.

"What's wrong?" Berwald asked, arching one eyebrow curiously as he took his coffee from Tino gratefully. The tall man was by now dressed in a pair of well worn work pants and an old button up shirt that was stained with grease and currently unbuttoned.

"Should have known nothing on this ship could be kept a secret for long," The smaller man muttered, and downed half of his coffee in one gulp. He should have gotten three cups so he could have more. Berwald only hummed in response and sipped at his coffee more sedately. "They were all out there, like they were waiting for one of us to show up," Tino continued. He had never been so embarrassed in his whole life.

Berwald, for his part, did not mind all that much that the others knew, or at least assumed, what had happened the night before. He did honestly care about Tino, it was Tino who had a problem with this relationship, Tino who did not know how he felt. For all Berwald knew, this might never happen again, and while he was not happy with it, he could live with that. And it was not like he would get any more teasing than he usually did from his crew members. It was probably Tino who would come off worst in this.

"Now y' don't have to worry 'bout 'em finding out, though," Berwald pointed out, hoping to be a little optimistic and make Tino feel better. If they already knew what had happened, then there was no secret to be kept and no worrying about that secret being found out. And if this kept up then eventually, as with Mathias and Aleksander, it would become boring.

Tino groaned softly, "I just wish we had some say in how they had found out," He sighed. "God, what if they heard us. How embarrassing." He thought he might die from it. These were the people he had to live and work with. He might never be able to show his face in front of them again.

But Berwald just shrugged. For all his shyness the night before he was taking this all very well. "The walls 're thin," he commented, "Probably be more surprised if they didn't."

"That's not helping, Berwald," Tino complained, hanging his head in shame.

"Sorry," the man murmured. "Just don't pay attention to 'em. Mathias'll get bored of teasin' ya if ya don't respond."

Tino looked sideways at him, "Really? That didn't seem to work with you," he commented.

"He's only doin' it for attention," Berwald explained. "He always does."

Tino sighed and downed the last of his coffee, though immediately regretted it when he had nothing left. "I hope you're right. I don't think I could bear it."

Some part of Berwald was a little hurt that Tino was so embarrassed by the others knowing about their relationship. If what they had could be called a relationship, because Tino had been very clear the night before that this might be a one time thing. Was he embarrassed by Berwald? What exactly was the big problem? He hoped it was just the manner in which they had been found out, though he did not know what had happened out in the galley, he had only seen Tino leave, still adorably sleepy, and return red faced and flustered. "It'll be fine," he said, and patted the smaller man on the head, which only made Tino blush all the more. He would be fine, Berwald told himself, so long as Tino did not try to push him away because of this. And if he did, well, Berwald was not sure what he would do in that case. But he could always try to win his way back into Tino's heart, although that was hardly something Berwald was very good at.

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